The Shit List

Long ago, I began quietly compiling a list of (high-profile) individuals who I had become convinced were either operating directly on behalf of Satan or had exchanged their souls with him in return for power and influence, either because I found them annoying as hell or considered them responsible for some trend or institution that I objected to on a very profound level, and I felt that some unholy pact with the devil was the only sensible explanation for their influence. Since then, I’ve expanded this list to include certain archetypes that, while not necessarily influential, are still characterized by some equally damnable trait. In other words, essentially anyone that annoys or otherwise irritates me beyond redemption. Not that I feel these latter groups are necessarily operating in collaboration with Satan, but being a romantic, I like to believe that there is still some special place in hell reserved for these people. Now it may be argued that it’s not entirely fair to condemn an entire group to an eternity of torment based on one or two (supremely) annoying character defects (even though they may otherwise be upstanding citizens), but I say, if these are the assholes I’ll have to spend an eternity with in heaven, I don’t want to go. To be fair, I realize that, based on my own criteria, I’ll likely be drowning in a pool of fire alongside them, but I’m fully prepared to accept that.

At any rate, so as not to get derailed with the theological or philosophical implications and lose sight of our purpose here, I’ll drop the religious overtones and restate the theme in more succinct terms:

I present to you, The Shit List, an ever-growing compendium of people that piss me off.

On J.J. Abrams and the Fallacy of the Geek Idol

May 3rd, 2013 No comments

Having previously examined (i.e., bitched about) the rise of geek culture within the realm of popular media (and not having completely exhausted the reservoir of bile I had accumulated in the process), I’ll resume my examination with a critical evaluation (i.e., evisceration) of some of the prominent contemporary icons of the genre, through which I’ll induct a new honoree onto the hallowed scrolls of The Shit List. Endemic to the rise of the popular geek culture is the rise of the so-called “Geek Idol”, which is not to say that icons of the culture haven’t always been exalted for their various contributions, but the mainstream popularity of (and corresponding revenue generated by) geek entertainment has amplified this phenomenon to grant individuals powers over the genre which are, in some cases, in dangerous proportion to their actual talent or credibility. Rant On!

Entrepreneurs: The Post-Modern Philanthropists

September 9th, 2012 No comments

Next up on The Shit List:  anyone who describes themselves as an “entrepreneur”.  Now, to be clear, I’m not referring to actual entrepreneurs, being someone who has actually owned and operated a real business, nor anyone who describes themselves as “entrepreneurial,” which is basically something that corporate sycophants put on their resumes (typically phrased as “an entrepreneurial spirit”) to demonstrate their ability to “think outside of the box” (provided they didn’t leave their book of horseshit, fashionable catchphrases in the box). Rant On!

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Steve Jobs: Shit List Frontrunner

August 18th, 2012 No comments

My inaugural inductee to The Shit List is Steve Jobs.  I’ve been through this in some detail, so I won’t recount my reasons in full, but my chief complaint with Steve was not so much his idiosyncrasies nor even his products, so much, but the slavish devotion to Apple, beyond the pale of common sense, that he inspired.  Before he passed away, many Apple devotees were probably only one more iphone generation away from donning white robes and shaving their heads.  It’s not that he was particularly gifted at either engineering or design, but he was, quite simply, the world’s greatest salesman, and I can only attribute that kind of brainwashing power to some manner of sorcery.

At any rate, here’s my full account of his place on The List:  Steve Jobs: A Faust for the New Millenium

More to come…