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Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

The Apple Watch and The Pointless March of Progress

September 12th, 2014 No comments

iwatch

Not that it’s any particular surprise to anyone who knows me, but I didn’t watch, listen to, or otherwise actively pay attention to Apple’s much-anticipated new-product love-in on Tuesday. Not because I didn’t have a passing, if marginal, interest, but because, along with anyone else paying attention, I already knew goddamned-well what they were going to announce. The only real reason for watching was to hear Tim Cook describe how Apple’s Revitalizing Miracle Tonic would cure my rheumatism, dyspepsia and receding hair line and leave me with minty fresh breath. Rant On!

2013: The Year in Review

December 31st, 2013 No comments

I was fairly intent on the world ending in 2012, as promised by the ultimately unreliable Mayans, but as that didn’t come to pass, I was a bit ill-prepared for 2013. Nonetheless, the year came and went and I dealt with it as best I could. Rather than a lengthy critical analysis of the year past, I’ve captured the highlights of the year which I believe speak for themselves: Rant On!

Steve Jobs: Shit List Frontrunner

August 18th, 2012 No comments

My inaugural inductee to The Shit List is Steve Jobs.  I’ve been through this in some detail, so I won’t recount my reasons in full, but my chief complaint with Steve was not so much his idiosyncrasies nor even his products, so much, but the slavish devotion to Apple, beyond the pale of common sense, that he inspired.  Before he passed away, many Apple devotees were probably only one more iphone generation away from donning white robes and shaving their heads.  It’s not that he was particularly gifted at either engineering or design, but he was, quite simply, the world’s greatest salesman, and I can only attribute that kind of brainwashing power to some manner of sorcery.

At any rate, here’s my full account of his place on The List:  Steve Jobs: A Faust for the New Millenium

More to come…

Google Play and the Fall of Civilization

March 20th, 2012 No comments

This weekend, I spent the better part of half an hour combing through my phone trying to find the fucking Android Market to download an app, and no, it wasn’t a literal 30 minutes, just like it wasn’t a literal lifetime that I spent waiting in the men’s department of some boutique in Soho (the men’s department being a lonely corner by the front door where likeminded men loiter while they dutifully await their significant others) for my girlfriend to find some ostensibly vital accessory, but it certainly felt like a fucking lifetime.  And so, after a metaphorical half-hour, it finally dawned on me that at some point in the preceding days, my Google Market app had been surreptitiously replaced by something called the Google Play Store. Rant On!

Steve Jobs: A Faust for the New Millennium

October 12th, 2011 2 comments

I’ve quietly maintained, over the years, a list of individuals (persons of some celebrity or notoriety foremost, but not completely discounting a few personal acquaintances) who I’m convinced have, at some point, traded their souls to Satan in exchange for power and influence.  For brevity’s sake, I’m not of a mind to discuss the entire list here (which would go on for volumes, anyway), but I will begin simply by starting at the top, and (at the risk of inciting the wrath of so-called tech “journalists” and self-described aficionados, the popular media, celebrities, legions of hipster assholes, and Stephen Colbert), that distinction belongs to Steve Jobs. Rant On!