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Star Trek: The ADHD Generation

May 13th, 2013 No comments

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I’m not a Trekkie, or at least I don’t think I am. Aside from the movies, as a kid I regularly consumed reruns of The Original Series, as well as The Animated Series (which was, in many ways equal, if not even superior, to TOS). I was equally devoted to The Next Generation, even through the first few seasons, when (as memory serves) the most harrowing crisis experienced aboard the Enterprise-D was Troi’s mother having a bad hair day. Even though I know it eventually redeemed itself, I didn’t have the same patience with DS9 and lost interest after a sporadic handful of first-season episodes which seemed to primarily consist of Kira endlessly whining about how the Cardassians were being mean to her and Odo giving everyone on the station the stink-eye (although I’ve been meaning to eventually go back and pick it up from the start of The Dominion War). I similarly gave up on Voyager at the end of the first season, when I realized that I would be rather content to leave the Voyager crew to die a cold, ignominious death in the Delta Quadrant (with the exception of Neelix, for whom death would have been too kind a fate), and after a few odd episodes of Enterprise, I realized that I was done with the franchise (for the time-being). So while I don’t consider myself an expert on the Star Trek universe in its entirety, I consider myself qualified enough to offer an authoritative criticism concerning the Enterprise and crew from the 23rd through the 24th century. Rant On!

On J.J. Abrams and the Fallacy of the Geek Idol

May 3rd, 2013 No comments

Having previously examined (i.e., bitched about) the rise of geek culture within the realm of popular media (and not having completely exhausted the reservoir of bile I had accumulated in the process), I’ll resume my examination with a critical evaluation (i.e., evisceration) of some of the prominent contemporary icons of the genre, through which I’ll induct a new honoree onto the hallowed scrolls of The Shit List. Endemic to the rise of the popular geek culture is the rise of the so-called “Geek Idol”, which is not to say that icons of the culture haven’t always been exalted for their various contributions, but the mainstream popularity of (and corresponding revenue generated by) geek entertainment has amplified this phenomenon to grant individuals powers over the genre which are, in some cases, in dangerous proportion to their actual talent or credibility. Rant On!

On Geek Chic and the Fallacy of Pop Burgers

May 2nd, 2013 No comments

I’ve never had much use for labels, which is to say that I generally disapprove of them, and, as with most things that I generally disapprove of, I probably use them just as much as anyone else, but in my defense,  I’m lazy and I find labels a convenient way to criticize so long as I feel that the label covers at least half or better of the list of grievances I would have otherwise had to detail, and, inasmuch as I have a tendency to be long-winded, they help mollify that to a certain extent, although likely never so much that I would ever be considered succinct or even, I suppose, fashionably clever, since it seems that by contemporary standards, it’s not enough to be clever on any terms, but to do so in short bursts, which has consistently proven to be persistently beyond my grasp. So in the interests of being succinct (sic), I’ll just say that I consider labels the same as bicycles; I don’t particularly like them, but they have their uses (my grievances with bicycles will have to wait for another day). Rant On!

Entrepreneurs: The Post-Modern Philanthropists

September 9th, 2012 No comments

Next up on The Shit List:  anyone who describes themselves as an “entrepreneur”.  Now, to be clear, I’m not referring to actual entrepreneurs, being someone who has actually owned and operated a real business, nor anyone who describes themselves as “entrepreneurial,” which is basically something that corporate sycophants put on their resumes (typically phrased as “an entrepreneurial spirit”) to demonstrate their ability to “think outside of the box” (provided they didn’t leave their book of horseshit, fashionable catchphrases in the box). Rant On!

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Steve Jobs: Shit List Frontrunner

August 18th, 2012 No comments

My inaugural inductee to The Shit List is Steve Jobs.  I’ve been through this in some detail, so I won’t recount my reasons in full, but my chief complaint with Steve was not so much his idiosyncrasies nor even his products, so much, but the slavish devotion to Apple, beyond the pale of common sense, that he inspired.  Before he passed away, many Apple devotees were probably only one more iphone generation away from donning white robes and shaving their heads.  It’s not that he was particularly gifted at either engineering or design, but he was, quite simply, the world’s greatest salesman, and I can only attribute that kind of brainwashing power to some manner of sorcery.

At any rate, here’s my full account of his place on The List:  Steve Jobs: A Faust for the New Millenium

More to come…

A Belated Introduction and All-Important Disclaimer

August 18th, 2012 No comments

After just over a year of obstinate procrastination, I’ve finally gotten around to updating my About page, which contains critical information, not only in laying out this site’s “mission statement”, but more importantly, providing much-needed qualifying criteria for reading and/or enjoying any of the content posted herein.  If at any point, you’ve ever finished any of these posts with either a vague or distinct feeling of confusion or indignation, then please read this before going any further.  Hopefully, this will help you sort out whether you should press on or not.  Cheers.

About RabidPossum’s Soapbox

London 2012 and the XXX Olympics: Not Remotely as Interesting as it Sounds

August 4th, 2012 2 comments

In just over a week, the vast majority of the world will return to its status quo state of not giving a shit about swimming or gymnastics, but until then, there’s seemingly little reprieve from the constant onslaught of propaganda goading me into joining some allegedly magical, transcendental global communion or convincing me that Coca-Cola and McDonald’s manufacture and distribution of consumer-grade poison should somehow be synonymized with athletic excellence.  The closest I ever got to taking an interest in the Olympics was when I played Track & Field on my NES as child, which I quickly abandoned when the novelty of seeing how quickly I could hit my “A” button wore pretty goddamned thin after about 2 minutes. Rant On!

Google Play and the Fall of Civilization

March 20th, 2012 No comments

This weekend, I spent the better part of half an hour combing through my phone trying to find the fucking Android Market to download an app, and no, it wasn’t a literal 30 minutes, just like it wasn’t a literal lifetime that I spent waiting in the men’s department of some boutique in Soho (the men’s department being a lonely corner by the front door where likeminded men loiter while they dutifully await their significant others) for my girlfriend to find some ostensibly vital accessory, but it certainly felt like a fucking lifetime.  And so, after a metaphorical half-hour, it finally dawned on me that at some point in the preceding days, my Google Market app had been surreptitiously replaced by something called the Google Play Store. Rant On!

My Dog Ran Off With My Wife: A Country Music Elegy

March 2nd, 2012 3 comments

I hate country music.  To be fair, I should say that my dislike of the genre is not unqualified, but since the advent of soundbites and their written equivalent (I’m sure there’s a word for it, but I’m not bothering to look it up), anyone with an agenda typically won’t bother to properly contextualize a quote if the abbreviated version better serves their purposes (thus, anyone looking to sully my already-questionable reputation with the country music scene won’t bother quoting me past the first line of the paragraph), and anyone hearing or reading said quote will likely not bother looking for context anyway, so why fucking bother with qualifications. Rant On!

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Apocalypse, Now!!

February 23rd, 2012 No comments

I’ve been patiently awaiting the apocalypse since the first somewhat-credible proclamation of Armageddon was made upon the close of the 20th century.  I use the term “credible” somewhat loosely, because short of a dinosaur-killing asteroid plunging toward the earth or Death and Famine and cohorts razing the city on horseback, you tend to take end-of-the-world proclamations with a grain or two of salt.  But under the circumstances, I considered it largely improbable, yet distinctly possible that if some fair number of systems upon which modern society was tethered to were to truly go belly-up (assuming we weren’t first disposed of entirely by ill-mannered nuclear missiles flying about with wild abandon) and planes started falling from the sky, society would ride a tidal wave of mass hysteria into some eventual state of primal civilization. Rant On!

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